There are days I feel more like a triangle or square, so very out of place. Other times, I am able to squeeze my octagonal self into the circular hole. You can’t really tell from a distance, especially if you squint or just glance my way. But if you look closely, the sides are flat and there are gaps between the places with the edges meet the walls. I am not quite there.
This week, I managed to blunder into conversations around politics, the role of women in the church and the “homosexual agenda”* Sometimes I forget which world I living in, since I straddle and/or travel between two or three in any given day. That sounds odd, I suppose. Perhaps even duplicitous. But the reality is that I really am octagonal. There are many places where my faith and the way I live it out is right in alignment with the people I work with. But there are also places we are far enough apart that I need to “mind the gap” as the London Tube announcer says.
Today it is the lovely remembrances of Chuck Colson I see on facebook. He is among those people that I just have to feel ambivalent about. I trust that he had a real faith and deep conversion; I don’t have a problem with him having left his past behind in that regard. But I never could get behind Colson 100%, given the time he spent belittling some while offering grace to others. Like his kindred spirits at the “Family”-named ministries, he had a tendency to quote specious research and use hurtful, if not hateful, speech toward sexual minorities.
I pray for his family and those who found his ministry and leadership inspiring. May they grieve well and trust that God has embraced Chuck as a beloved child. I also trust that God has had (or will- that whole timing thing is a mystery) a word or two with him about loving *all* God’s children well.**
*you know, the agenda in which LGBTQ people are able to live their lives, express their faith and serve God freely and on equal footing with everyone else. Kind of like the women’s agenda. But that’s a post for another day.
**and yes, I see the irony here. I too am guilty of being slow to love (or at least allow God’s love to flow through me toward) some people.