When I first started this blog, I described myself as a Presbyterian pre-Seminarian. As I walked into the office this morning, I realized that in just under four months, I’ll be done. It’s been a long five years in a lot of ways. A lot of water has gone under the bridge…
- My child has grown from tween to learning-to-drive teen, thinking about where to go to college.
- My denomination is morphing- perhaps splitting in two, perhaps becoming a matrix of orders and networks.
- My house is worth a small fraction of what it was
- My husband is about to start his dissertation for a doctorate he started after I matriculated
- We have a dog (not just any dog, but one of the top 10non-hero family dogs ever, IMHO)
- God moved me from the church that brought me into the Presbyterian family into a church that is committed to sending me into the world.
The other day, a woman at church asked me about my family and what comes after graduation… the usual. As I described the challenges that the FPK and the hubby have experienced engaging the institutional church, she asked me something like this: At what point did you come to the decision to change careers and return to school?
The reality is that it was at that point in my life I started peeling back the layers of my life that allowed me to pretend I was in control. And for five years, God has been in the midst of that work. Laughing as I gave up being a straight-A grad student. Watching over me as I learned that being a good parent means my child is going to make mistakes and even make some people angry. Caring for me as I learned that people I love will get sick and I won’t be able to fix it. Consoling me when leaders disappointed and hurt me. Guiding me as often as I was willing to follow – and pushing when I wasn’t. Offering grace through bosses and supervisors who have walked some of the roads I am on, knowing how it feels to fall and need time to regain momentum.
I didn’t decide anything. Other than it was time to walk with God and see where we ended up. And here we are.