Peeling back the layers

When I first started this blog, I described myself as a Presbyterian pre-Seminarian.  As I walked into the office this morning, I realized that in just under four months, I’ll be done.  It’s been a long five years in a lot of ways.   A lot of water has gone under the bridge…

  • My child has grown from tween to learning-to-drive teen, thinking about where to go to college.
  • My denomination is morphing- perhaps splitting in two, perhaps becoming a matrix of orders and networks.
  • My house is worth a small fraction of what it was
  • My husband is about to start his dissertation for a doctorate he started after I matriculated
  • We have a dog  (not just any dog, but one of the top 10non-hero family dogs ever, IMHO)
  • God moved me from the church that brought me into the Presbyterian family into a church that is committed to sending me into the world.

The other day, a woman at church asked me about my family and what comes after graduation… the usual.  As I described the challenges that the FPK and the hubby have experienced engaging the institutional church, she asked me something like this:  At what point did you come to the decision to change careers and return to school?

The reality is that it was at that point in my life I started peeling back the layers of my life that allowed me to pretend I was in control.  And for five years, God has been in the midst of that work.  Laughing as I gave up being a straight-A grad student.    Watching over me as I learned that being a good parent means my child is going to make mistakes and even make some people angry.  Caring for me as I learned that people I love will get sick and I won’t be able to fix it.  Consoling me when leaders disappointed and hurt me.  Guiding me as often as I was willing to follow – and pushing when I wasn’t.  Offering grace through bosses and supervisors who have walked some of the roads I am on, knowing how it feels to fall and need time to regain momentum.

I didn’t decide anything.  Other than it was time to walk with God and see where we ended up.  And here we are.

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