You know how sometimes things seem to come in waves? There’s not necessarily a real pattern involved, but something captures your attention in a way that you are more aware of others like it. A famous “pattern” is the idea that deaths come in threes. So a famous person dies and suddenly there are people dropping like flies around you. Or at least two more people to make the infamous trio. They also say that when a woman is pregnant, she becomes more aware of others who are with child or parents with infants.
Lately, there seems to have been a wave of relationships dissolving. It started with a friend who had only been married a couple of years changing her Facebook status from married to “it’s complicated.” That was followed by another couple I know announcing their separation; another acquaintance did the same in a matter of weeks. Just this week another couple announced a divorce. These are all good people, most of whom tend toward being rational, responsible and loving most of the time (at least in my experience). And yet, somehow marriages are dissolving… some after decades! It made me sad… inordinately so, given that I don’t really know some of these people all that well.
And yet, my heart ached. I don’t know why that is… perhaps because my emotions are a little closer to the surface lately. Maybe because I have been more keenly aware of how much I count on my own dear hubby as we entered this strange season of parenthood. Or it could be that I’ve seen enough pain lately that I just want people to be ok, to not hurt like that.
So, after that last crazy announcement, I emailed my dear man and told him. Told him how much it means to me that he is really with me, not just the way teens go out with each other. I told him that I don’t want us to take that bond for granted. And I told him that I don’t want to lose him. Ever. Sappy, I know. But it was where my heart was… anxious to let him know how much I loved him, and how much our relationship means to me, every moment of every day. I am such a cheeseball…
I wasn’t sure he got that little email. He didn’t react yesterday, and our goodnights were pretty much the same as usual, as were the good mornings today. But this afternoon, a bear arrived at my desk. Yep… it’s a silly little bear, probably leftover from Valentine’s arrangements. And he’s holding a cheesy little stuffed heart that says “I love you.” And it’s surrounded by beautiful sunflowers and carnations and other flowers whose names I couldn’t give you. They make such a gorgeous arrangement. There was a little note in the card, of course.
But he had me with the cheese.