CPM Update

Well, the committee (CPM) met today… with me and them about me and then with me again.

This was the first one of these meetings that I felt free to just say whatever needed saying.
Perhaps because I had been so clear and vulnerable in the materials I sent ahead of time.
Maybe because there was really nothing to lose, regardless of who was in the room.
Or, it could be that there was so much prayer coverage…
Honestly, it was probably a combination with the last option having the greatest weight. I was prayed up, and there was a great sense of God’s presence in the room.
Regardless, there was much compassion and grace given. And very gladly received. I’ll be able to make up the Hebrew class I dropped by doing an independent study. I’ll be able to take my Ord exams when I’m ready. And I’ve gotten pretty broad permissions to identify where I’ll do my internship work. Of course, the biggie was the recommendation to the Presbytery that I be enrolled as a candidate.
They asked me what that meant to me, and I hadn’t really thought about it. I think there is a level of commitment that changes at this point. Being an inquirer was like being in a very serious relationship, at that point where you start talking about what getting married might look like and try on the concept with one another. I was able to start classes and even just say out loud to people, “Yes, I believe God is calling me to ordained pastoral ministry.” Getting to work through some of those responses and doing some of the same work I’d been doing with an eye to vocation was an important first piece.
Moving to candidacy is like getting engaged. The parental consent is given, a commitment is made (sans diamond ring) that I will really work on those things that will prepare me and give evidence of my readiness to take on the role of vocational ministry. When the time is right, then I will stand ready for a call. While I will remain married to my husband (Lord willing), there will be a ceremony at which I promise to be faithful in service to the church universal and particular.
It’s exciting stuff, to be sure. And daunting. But mostly the sort of challenge I look forward to walking through with God. Because no matter how wacky life gets or how messy relationships are, God will continue to enter my life to reveal the grace in the moment.

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