One of the hashtag trends that got started on Twitter today was #10yearsago… prompting people to micro-blog where they were a decade ago. I’m not sure what it means that I could remember that, but not all the intervening years…
For the millennial turn, we were at DisneyWorld. Animal Kingdom, to be precise, but only because that was the only park that wasn’t completely full by the time we decided that’s where we wanted to be. It was actually quite something… the closed the park about 11 and started pushing people out to their parking lot, where they had a live band playing and some other entertainment happening. They had to shoo everyone that direction for fireworks, since it’s the only park that has so many wild animals. So we went out to the van, plunked the Boy up top and turned to see the show… only to find that there were shows almost 36o degrees around us… Epcot, MGM and Downtown Disney were very close, and then in the distance we could see the Magic Kingdom. We had blundered into the most spectacular view in town.
Between then and now, we’ve been at home, with friends in Gatlinburg, at other people’s houses… I suppose if I really worked, I could come up with a pretty good accounting. But I don’t really capture that stuff very well.
To be honest, the things I thought when faced with replacing the ellipsis at the end of the hashtag had much more to do with my inward journey than my physical location.
I was working in a job that was exhilarating, but not fulfilling
I had a very small circle of friends in town
I had just really started back to church, but not really doing much
I was trying to figure out how to be a mom to a precocious 4 year old.
A year later, I would be let go from that job, and while that was a painful way to transition, it taught me invaluable lessons about where my identity does and doesn’t start
Within 2-3 years, we would have become active in the church, and found a growing number of people who were just as “normal” as us
Over the next 5-6 years, God pursued me in the craziest, most painful and gently ways. Stripping away layers of shame, guilt, confusion, doubt, and stubbornness, God reminded me that I am a loved and loving person who deserves nothing- neither the condemnation I assumed nor the grace I was offered. God made it clear that I was meant for more.
Somehow we survived being elementary, cub scout and middle school parents, and we find ourselves parenting a precocious 14 year old. Still unsure. Still confused. Still doing the best we can.
Where those 10 years went? And so quickly! I don’t know. Except that when you’re learning and living at warp speed, time does fly.
I saw a couple of brave tweeps post #10yearsfromnow thoughts. I can’t begin to imagine… We’ll be well out of grad school, and the Boy will be 24, hopefully graduated and moving into his career (or grad school of his own).
Rather than make any more predictions than that, I think I’ll just say this. I want to live 2o1o, not just be along for the ride. I want to savor the moments I have with family. I want to listen more closely to my boys. I want to help mom share what she knows with her grandkids- capture some of that legacy, since she is the only living grand they have. I want to love my husband even more. I want to grow closer to God, not just for me, but so that I can be a better mom, wife, student, employee, supervisor, co-worker, preacher and friend. And so that I can be a better disciple, follower and lover of God.